Team Nationwide's Ground and Air Assault Too Much for Army Navy

Greetings, sports fans!

This week on the docket of teams to be "framed": Army Navy Garrison.

Now, I'm no military expert (although I did date a girl in college who was in ROTC - OK, we didn't "date", we were just "hanging out". Whatever.), but a name like "Army Navy Garrison" portrays a particular image which, in this writer's mind, scares the bajesus out of me. Thankfully, however, ANG resembled a troop more suited for a sit-com than softball. However, in order to pay our due respect to our counterparts for their years of service and admirable contributions to our nation's security, I was able to dig up a few of their graduating class photos from the Army and Naval Academy libraries :

Recognize these guys? Yep, the inaugural "Navy Garrison" squad.

Recognize this guy? The Shortstop. And the birth "Army Navy Garrison".

And the guy on the right? The 3rd base coach. And the one on the left? The third baseman. Ouch!

And now, to the game highlights:

In classic Team Nationwide style, the Frames took to the field in the top half of the first as the home team, and proceeded to spot the bad guys 7 runs right out of the gate. We just like to take a few steps back so we can make a run at it. And what about Team Nationwide's bottom half of the 1st, you ask?

"What does three up and three down mean to you, airman?"
"End of an inning?"

But, in a moment of coaching brilliance, Dr. Jeff Quinn "Medicine Woman" strategically re-positioned the outfielders to defend against the mortar attacks (a.k.a bloop hits), and that was the end of the offensive fire-power of ANG, who would only post 2 more runs before ultimately surrendering in what would be a 12-9 victory for the good guys.

And, in typical Team Nationwide style, sound pitching, stellar defensive play and timely and accurate hitting would ultimately lead the good guys to victory. A 7-run 5th inning put the good guys ahead to stay, and this weeks highlights are more than just great individual efforts - they are great individual efforts when the team needed them most and when the game was on the line. In the last 2 innings and holding the battle front with a slim 3 run lead, Team Nationwide triumphed thanks to stellar defensive gems in both the infield and outfield. In the 6th inning and ANG poised to make an offensive move, second baseman Vickie "Call me Pam Dickey" stifled an ANG rally by scooping up a ground ball, tagging the first base runner mid-stride and firing to first for a rally-killing double-play. Also in the 6th, Torri "funny how all the umpires have the same last name, "Blue"" Aprile sprung from behind the plate to pick up a slow dribbler in front of the plate and fired to first to end the ANG 6th inning. And, in the 7th inning as ANG again was poised for a miracle rally, Dr. Jeff Quinn "Medicine Woman" squashed their hopes with a diving/falling/tumbling/rumbling/bumbling catch in right center field. Whew, that was a close one.

And with that, Team Nationwide improves to 3 and 1 on the season and looks ahead to "Cougar's #2" (I know what my kids refer to #2 as, and I sure hope there is no resemblance here with Cougar's).

Should be a good one next week - good seats are still available, so bring the whole family.

Go Team Nationwide!

Team Nationwide Puts the Worst Behind Them

Speaking of the "worst behinds" - people who don't follow through on their commitments...like showing up to play ball! I'm guessing this attendance issue runs wider and broader than softball - there is a reason they are the Worst Bar in Columbus and I'm guessing attendance just might be their issue.

So - no game, no write up.

As for yours truly, I'm afraid you won't be seeing me for a long, long time. Right now, high ranking officials from the German Third Reich are awaiting to escort me to Salzburg to assume my post within the Nazi naval forces. Oh, wait, that's Captain Von Trapp from The Sound of Music. Damn, I hate when that happens.

Actually, I will be switching gears to play hockey Monday nights (they pay me more) so I won't be playing softball on a regular basis. Don't worry, I am not going to ask you to join me in singing Edelweiss.

So, good luck Team Nationwide - as my father used to say to me before taking the field, "Hit 'em where they ain't"!

Cheers!

Team Nationwide Prepares for the Worst

Next up on the season docket of teams to be "framed": The Worst Bar in Columbus.

OK, I'm not a marketing expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I can't see that branding yourself as the "worst" of anything is good for morale and/or business. Call me crazy.

Now, on to the matter at hand - "team nationwide" takes to the diamond this Monday night at 6:15 at Berliner park (Field 21) to continue their pursuit of this season's title in the Mixed Rec League. Team Nationwide is fresh off a come-from-behind victory, dropping "trousers" (I love saying that) 18-17 in the season opener, and is primed to continue their winning ways Monday night.

In an unrelated story, the league commissioner, who apparently has been alerted to concerns that some teams may be using "ineligible" players, issued a statement released through the Sports Office to all team managers, including our very-own Dr. Jeff Quinn Medicine Woman:

The Sports Office has received several complaints of ineligible players playing in Mixed Rec leagues. In the CRPD Rule Book, it states that No Elite, Premier, or Major or Mixed Competitive Players may play Mixed Rec. If a team protests that another team is using illegal players and the protest is upheld, the illegal player and coach/manager will be suspended and the game forfeited. The suspension will be for a period of time determined by the sports office and will include all CRPD activities that the illegal player and coach/manager participate in. Please make sure you know what other leagues your players may be participating in so that you and your team will not have to forfeit a game or more.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning!

Whew! I don't know about you, sports fans, but I sure am glad this is being monitored. The last thing this country needs is a recreational co-ed softball team stacking their line-up to create an unfair competitive advantage in a league that is otherwise free of corruption, illegal gambling, and excessive steroid abuse (anything in moderation is OK). Need we be reminded of the consequences when elements of a major component of this country's economic engine mess with the laws of nature and the integrity of the game?

Would this qualify under "Your Time" in TOPS?

Hope to see you all there Monday night. Bring the family - good seats are still available.

Go "Team Nationwide"!

Team Nationwide Drops Trousers

Columbus, OH

Well, if that headline doesn't grab your attention, I don't know what will...

Good morning, sports fans! It's that time of year again - It's spring time! It is the time of year when we bid Old Man Winter adieu and turn our attention to warmer weather and brighter days. It is also the time when we trade in snowballs for softballs, mittens for mitts, and flannels for spandex as we prepare for the start of yet another season of Nationwide Co-Ed Softball with our fearless leader, Dr. Jeff Quinn "Medicine Woman", at the helm.

And softball, like baseball, is as much a part of the American past-time as Hot Dog, Apple Pie and Chevrolet. And at the time of this writing, the price of one hot dog and an apple pie will get you a considerable amount of shares of GM.

When we last left our superheroes, it was a hot muggy summer night and the Nationwide Co-Ed Four-Baggers were recovering from a good-old street beating to close out the 2008 campaign. Not exactly the Hollywood ending we were looking for, but lest we digress. As the 90's one-hit-wonder band Semisonic once poetically wrote, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." OK, whatever.

And this year's softball season is indeed a new beginning. What's new, you ask? Well, for starters, this year we're turning to the blog-o-sphere for the weekly "write up". That's right - we're "going green". You know...save that planet: recycle, eat organic, turn off all the lights, and redistribute the nation's wealth to the Big 3 and the greedy Bankers. Secondly, the team is energized with brand new, brand-compliant jerseys (OK, T-shirts). And, last but not least, there are some new smiling faces, and a whole new outlook for the new season.

First up on the season docket to be "framed": Me and Me Trousers

As the top half of the opening inning unfolded, admittedly, there was some uncertainty in the air as to whether or not the misfortunes of last season had indeed ended. "Trousers" came out swinging and quickly put up a 6-spot. Flashbacks of last season's finale vs. "Swingers" had some of us talking to ourselves. Not to worry, however, and doubters beware! In what proved to be a heavy-weight bout (no pun intended), "Team Nationwide" battled back from several deficits in a game that would be decided in the good-guy's final at-bat.

Both teams combined for 35 runs, countless errors and a few laughs along the way as "Team Nationwide" would take the season-opener, 18-17. The game was highlighted by an amazing catch in left-center field by Barbie Grubb, a catch worthy of ESPN's "Web Gems" on Baseball Tonight. Not to be overlooked was the stellar pitching performance by Chuck Cicerchi, as "lefty" settled down over the course of the game and oh-so-slowly shut down the "Trousers" offensive machine. A seven-run 5th inning showed the "never say die" character of the team as everyone chipped in with timely and accurate hitting. As for the comic relief, Dr. Jeff Quinn "Medicine Woman" entertained us as he physically held-up Matt Weaver (who, on all accounts, would otherwise be stopped by the dugout fence) after over-running 3rd base and guided him back to the bag - all to the watchful eye of the almost-sober umpire who contemplated the legality of a 3rd base coach physically assisting a base runner back to the base. And last but certainly not least, the tenacious come-back by "Team Nationwide" was capped off with Charles Giametta's game winning hit with 2 outs and a man on 3rd in the bottom of the 7th.

Lastly, as the team playing in the game after us began to take an interest in our game (especially the end of it), it was poetic justice as a member of that team yelled, "Go Team Nationwide!" while we rallied in the last of the 7th. Either he was selfishly looking for a timely ending to our game, or the branding and marketing strategy is working. I vote for the latter.

That's right - "Go Team Nationwide"!