Team Nationwide Prepares for the Worst

Next up on the season docket of teams to be "framed": The Worst Bar in Columbus.

OK, I'm not a marketing expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I can't see that branding yourself as the "worst" of anything is good for morale and/or business. Call me crazy.

Now, on to the matter at hand - "team nationwide" takes to the diamond this Monday night at 6:15 at Berliner park (Field 21) to continue their pursuit of this season's title in the Mixed Rec League. Team Nationwide is fresh off a come-from-behind victory, dropping "trousers" (I love saying that) 18-17 in the season opener, and is primed to continue their winning ways Monday night.

In an unrelated story, the league commissioner, who apparently has been alerted to concerns that some teams may be using "ineligible" players, issued a statement released through the Sports Office to all team managers, including our very-own Dr. Jeff Quinn Medicine Woman:

The Sports Office has received several complaints of ineligible players playing in Mixed Rec leagues. In the CRPD Rule Book, it states that No Elite, Premier, or Major or Mixed Competitive Players may play Mixed Rec. If a team protests that another team is using illegal players and the protest is upheld, the illegal player and coach/manager will be suspended and the game forfeited. The suspension will be for a period of time determined by the sports office and will include all CRPD activities that the illegal player and coach/manager participate in. Please make sure you know what other leagues your players may be participating in so that you and your team will not have to forfeit a game or more.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning!

Whew! I don't know about you, sports fans, but I sure am glad this is being monitored. The last thing this country needs is a recreational co-ed softball team stacking their line-up to create an unfair competitive advantage in a league that is otherwise free of corruption, illegal gambling, and excessive steroid abuse (anything in moderation is OK). Need we be reminded of the consequences when elements of a major component of this country's economic engine mess with the laws of nature and the integrity of the game?

Would this qualify under "Your Time" in TOPS?

Hope to see you all there Monday night. Bring the family - good seats are still available.

Go "Team Nationwide"!

Team Nationwide Drops Trousers

Columbus, OH

Well, if that headline doesn't grab your attention, I don't know what will...

Good morning, sports fans! It's that time of year again - It's spring time! It is the time of year when we bid Old Man Winter adieu and turn our attention to warmer weather and brighter days. It is also the time when we trade in snowballs for softballs, mittens for mitts, and flannels for spandex as we prepare for the start of yet another season of Nationwide Co-Ed Softball with our fearless leader, Dr. Jeff Quinn "Medicine Woman", at the helm.

And softball, like baseball, is as much a part of the American past-time as Hot Dog, Apple Pie and Chevrolet. And at the time of this writing, the price of one hot dog and an apple pie will get you a considerable amount of shares of GM.

When we last left our superheroes, it was a hot muggy summer night and the Nationwide Co-Ed Four-Baggers were recovering from a good-old street beating to close out the 2008 campaign. Not exactly the Hollywood ending we were looking for, but lest we digress. As the 90's one-hit-wonder band Semisonic once poetically wrote, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." OK, whatever.

And this year's softball season is indeed a new beginning. What's new, you ask? Well, for starters, this year we're turning to the blog-o-sphere for the weekly "write up". That's right - we're "going green". You know...save that planet: recycle, eat organic, turn off all the lights, and redistribute the nation's wealth to the Big 3 and the greedy Bankers. Secondly, the team is energized with brand new, brand-compliant jerseys (OK, T-shirts). And, last but not least, there are some new smiling faces, and a whole new outlook for the new season.

First up on the season docket to be "framed": Me and Me Trousers

As the top half of the opening inning unfolded, admittedly, there was some uncertainty in the air as to whether or not the misfortunes of last season had indeed ended. "Trousers" came out swinging and quickly put up a 6-spot. Flashbacks of last season's finale vs. "Swingers" had some of us talking to ourselves. Not to worry, however, and doubters beware! In what proved to be a heavy-weight bout (no pun intended), "Team Nationwide" battled back from several deficits in a game that would be decided in the good-guy's final at-bat.

Both teams combined for 35 runs, countless errors and a few laughs along the way as "Team Nationwide" would take the season-opener, 18-17. The game was highlighted by an amazing catch in left-center field by Barbie Grubb, a catch worthy of ESPN's "Web Gems" on Baseball Tonight. Not to be overlooked was the stellar pitching performance by Chuck Cicerchi, as "lefty" settled down over the course of the game and oh-so-slowly shut down the "Trousers" offensive machine. A seven-run 5th inning showed the "never say die" character of the team as everyone chipped in with timely and accurate hitting. As for the comic relief, Dr. Jeff Quinn "Medicine Woman" entertained us as he physically held-up Matt Weaver (who, on all accounts, would otherwise be stopped by the dugout fence) after over-running 3rd base and guided him back to the bag - all to the watchful eye of the almost-sober umpire who contemplated the legality of a 3rd base coach physically assisting a base runner back to the base. And last but certainly not least, the tenacious come-back by "Team Nationwide" was capped off with Charles Giametta's game winning hit with 2 outs and a man on 3rd in the bottom of the 7th.

Lastly, as the team playing in the game after us began to take an interest in our game (especially the end of it), it was poetic justice as a member of that team yelled, "Go Team Nationwide!" while we rallied in the last of the 7th. Either he was selfishly looking for a timely ending to our game, or the branding and marketing strategy is working. I vote for the latter.

That's right - "Go Team Nationwide"!